What No One Tells You About Having Twins

By Talya Elk — parent of twins and newborn photographer in Atlanta

Before the Twins Arrive

Stock up like you’re prepping for a storm.
Order as many diapers and wipes as you can store. You’ll go through them faster than you believe possible.
Buy hundreds of bottles and a drying rack/stabilizer.
The more you own, the less you’ll spend your life washing them.
Get lots of pacifiers and sleep sacks.
They vanish constantly — always keep extras on hand.
Swaddle the newborns.
Velcro or zip swaddles make it easy and keep them calm.
Buy lots of towels.
At least 8–10 baby towels means no daily laundry.
Hire your dream team.
- Nanny for daytime relief
- Night nurse for your sanity
- Neighbor kid to fold laundry or unload the dishwasher
Get your older kids into solid routines.
Independent mornings and bedtimes make everything smoother once the twins arrive.

Once the Twins Are Home

Feed the twins together.
Sync feeding times — it’s the only way to rest later.
No breastfeeding (by choice).
Formula feeding allows others to help and gives you freedom.
Give pacifiers immediately.
Comfort, calm, and better sleep — from day one.
Change only poop diapers.
Skip wet ones unless soaked — keeps everyone sleepy.
Synchronize everything.
Eat, nap, and wake together — both babies, every time.
At one month, take walks.
Motion helps gas, fussiness, and your own mood.
Sleep train at 3 months.
Gentle consistency saves your sanity.

Sleep Setup for Twins

Keep the twins in the same crib — until you can’t.
They calm each other; they’ve been together since the womb.
Staying close helps them feel secure and sleep better early on.
Transition later when they start waking each other — no rush.

Calming the Babies

The 5 S’s are your best friends:

Swaddle – snug and cozy security
Side – hold on their side for comfort
Swing – gentle rhythmic motion
Suckle – pacifier or finger to soothe
Shhhh – white noise, soft voice, or hair dryer hum
Extra tricks:
Gently stroke forehead to nose — it relaxes them and helps them drift off.
Squat while holding — mimics womb movement and calms instantly.
Twins calm each other — try laying them close before picking them up separately.

Bath Time Tips

Use a baby bath support seat for safety and stability.
Expect strong startle reflexes (Moro reflex) — keep a soft cloth wrapped around their arms in the bath to help them feel secure.
Have everything ready before you start — towel, soap, washcloth, pacifier.
One at a time. While one gets a bath, keep the other wrapped and warm.

Accept Help — Every Time

Visitors don’t just visit — they help.
No coffee chats while you’re drowning in bottles.
Have them hold babies so you can shower.
Ask them to fold laundry, wash bottles, or do dishes.
Let them watch the twins so you can rest.
Even annoying people can be useful.
You don’t have to like them for them to help. Hand them a broom.
Say yes to all help.
Meals, errands, babysitting — take every offer.

With Older Siblings

Give them “big helper” jobs.
Let them fetch diapers, sing to the babies, or pick outfits — it keeps them feeling important.
One-on-one moments matter.
Ten minutes of full attention fills their emotional tanks.
Keep snacks and quiet play ready.
Encourages independence (and fewer meltdowns).

For You

You might lose your mind once a day — that’s normal.
Raising twins and two older kids is an insane task. Every day you don’t have a meltdown is a win.
Join a twin mom group (even if you never post).
Reading that others are also up at 3 a.m. losing it will make you feel less alone.
You might get angry with your husband/wife — also normal.
You’re outnumbered, hormonal, and exhausted. Most twin moms go through a phase of deeply resenting their partners. You’ll survive it — and laugh later (in 10 years or so)
Lower expectations, raise grace.
The goal is survival, not perfection. The house will be messy — it’s okay.
You are doing something extraordinary.
Four humans depend on you, and you’re showing up every single day. That’s strength beyond words.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is having twins much harder than one baby?
Yes. Not because of love, but because everything happens at once — sleep loss, feeding, logistics, and emotional load.

Is it okay not to breastfeed twins?
Absolutely. Feeding choices should support the parent’s mental health and allow sustainable care for both babies.

What helps most in the first months with twins?
Synchronization, accepting help without guilt, and lowering expectations. Survival comes before perfection.

Will my body go back to normal after having twins?
Your body will change — and it will also recover. Some things return to how they were, others don’t, and that doesn’t mean something is wrong. Strength, comfort, and confidence come back gradually, often before your body looks “normal” again. For me, my body began to feel like mine again when my children were around two years old — but everyone’s timeline is different. You carried and birthed two human beings. Your body tells that story. Scars, changes, and softness are not failures of recovery; they are evidence of what your body has done.

When will I feel like myself again?
There isn’t a single moment. Most parents notice small returns — a thought, a laugh, a sense of agency — before they feel fully like themselves. For many twin parents, this begins around 6–12 months and continues to improve over time.

How long is a C-section scar numb?
Numbness is very common and can last months or even longer. Sensation often returns slowly and unevenly as nerves heal. For some, areas remain partially numb — this is normal and not a failure of healing.

Am I a bad mom if I feel overwhelmed or resentful?
No. Overwhelm, anger, grief, and even resentment are common responses to extreme exhaustion and responsibility. Being a good parent is not measured by how calm you feel, but by how you continue to show up despite how hard it is.

When does it get easier with twins?
“Easier” usually comes in waves, not all at once. Many parents notice a real shift around 4–6 months, another around the first year, and again when sleep and communication improve. It doesn’t become effortless — but it becomes more manageable, and you grow stronger alongside it.

BabyPhotoTalya

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by Talya Elk